…you me its all you think about. So I remembered mine.
“How about that sock,” I smiled trying to make it sound like it was nothing.
“Errr…Njoro si you’ll give 500 bob tomorrow coz I don`t have change. I`ll give it back kesho,” Fred stammered eyeing the massive booty on his mama and winking at us.
“No problem man,” Njoro (I know weird name) my man for the night said waving Fred off.
500 sock was good. Truly Jesus was with me tonight. Three hours later, a lot of beers drunker, things got out of hand. Njoro`s hand had developed “Crawlophobia”. This my friends is when a drunk dude’s hand sets their goal on one target “up your skirt”
I was drunk but not enough to let a stranger’s hand go up to “Heavens gate” In fact I was beginning to throw “ hell” at him . Liz was busy m@’king 0ut with the new boyfriend.
“Let`s get out of here ,” I said literally pulling her off the guy’s l!ps. (LNo! this is not c0’ckblocking readers, my th!ghs and k!tty are at risk here… hallo )
“Wh….y?” Liz stammered her l!ps automatically falling back on the guys
Shit! Liz can be so stupid when she’s drank! Nkt! Pombe sio maji!
“Can you give me the 500. I want to leave,” I said to Njoro trying to sound nice the first time that night.
“Five…hu..hu..hundred gani? Mi….m..i kwa…ni ni baba..baba..babayako,” Njoro asked banging his fist on the table.
“Si Fred alikuambia uniaptie five hundred na ukakubali,” I felt hot tears congregate in my eyes
“Mi..mimi si patii ma..laya pesaaaa,” Njoro said before his head fell on to the table.
“Leta basi one hundred,“ I shouted getting Liz and her boyfriend’s attention.
“Ni nini bwana …pa…pat..patia msichana pesa yake aende akalale Malaya ya Nairobi bwana! Liz’s boyfriend bellowed . Three times tonight night I’ve been called M@laya oK
“Sweetie now why you calling my friend a M@laya?” Liz asked him planting k!sses on him.
“Ata…ata wewe ni M@laya ya Nairobi …bure kabisa.Kwenda! acha sisi tukatafute Malaya weng..ine wzuri kuwashinda,” Liz’s boyfriend said pushing her off his laps.
“AiiI sweetie…,” Liz began to protest
Luckily! Unlike stingy Njoro, he threw 1000 bob on the table. I pounced on it , grabbed my coat and dragged Liz out.
We should have taken a cab to the stage, but a greedy me decided that I…
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