Fear remained a motivating factor for me, steering me clear of male associations throughout my primary and high school years. My mother had also experienced a painful separation from my father and I was determined not to add to her burdens so I was a good, obedient girl.
I studied hard and excelled in my academics, and my teachers loved me. I said to myself that I would wait to get into a relationship in my third year of campus, one that would hopefully lead to marriage. That was not to be.
I have had two serious long-term relationships; my first, which lasted two and a half years, ended because our ideals on sexual boundaries clashed. This was between high school and my first years in campus. The second ended two months to my wedding date, but was also platonic. That one had lasted three years. Coming from a really humble background, I have also had men trying to buy me off with promises of a more lavish life.
Some days are hard hormonally and I know my body well enough to know that given the chance, I may slip. So I rush straight home from work and keep my socialising at zero until these winds have passed.
I have also realised that reading certain books and watching some soaps gets me thinking in a way that is dangerous to my commitment to purity. So I simply do not. I do not kiss or caress men. I might give a hug and peck if it’s really necessary.
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