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ROTTEN NATION: NAIROBI CLUBS NOW OFFERING LIVE S£X SESSIONS FOR AS LOW AS KES 500

Somebody give the Kenya Film Classification Board (KFCB) a lollipop. Because they are being childish. And as for the CEO, please, somebody buy him crayons, a colouring book, that colourful little chart with the alphabet and drop him at the day care centre. Because he too, is being very childish.

I am sure you have heard about the ‘Project X’ party that was to happen this weekend. This party, the organizers promised, would be the party of the year. Young people, for whom the party was intended, were assured to have the time of their life, so much so, that they would “lose their minds”.

“No one goes back home a vargin…” read the poster. The KFCB, in its infinite Solomonic wisdom, called a press conference and made the earth-shattering announcement. It condemned and banned the party on moral grounds.

They said that party is an avenue through which unscrupulous business people would promote drugs, illicit s3x and make p0rn0graphic movies. They claimed that an international p0rn0graphic ring was behind the party, and the aim was to film the youngsters having s3x.

Now, I am not here to bore you with a homily on how I think the party is immoral or illegal. I have never been known to be a member of the moral police and most of you think I am amoral anyway. So I won’t bother. Plus, I think if a child — a teenager — is to attend such parties, then it only means that their parents have failed.

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